I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
