I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
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Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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