I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
