Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
