allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
