Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she peed on how many people?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
