Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize