is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
