By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm like, not good at living.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
