If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
