please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
