I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
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She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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