I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
