I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
