My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
