I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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