I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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