Betty ford says i'm here all night
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
