I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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