I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
