your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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