trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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