What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
