I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize