Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
