I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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