Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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