I showed him my bush... on skype.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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