Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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