I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
