don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
