Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
