weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
