btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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