i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
