After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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