They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
