I have demons in me.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
