Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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