u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
