i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
