these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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