Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
