my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The air taste purple.
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