'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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