next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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