i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We're too hungover to prance.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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