Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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