I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
