dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
