you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
