All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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