Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
