so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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