The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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