so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Randomize
