Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
