Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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