Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
