When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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