Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
